i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
