Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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