Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."

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(925): View more from California

We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor

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(281): View more from Texas

Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?

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(850): View more from Florida

Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?

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(917): View more from New York City

Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)

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(574): View more from Indiana

IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.

(971): View more from Oregon

YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.

(574): View more from Indiana

NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?

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(315): View more from New York

Are you alone?

(503): View more from Oregon

No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.

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