theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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