i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
