Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
