i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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