mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
