Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Found your dick twin last night
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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