What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
