You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
