I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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