I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
home. puking in laundry basket.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
