If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
