Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
