He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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