just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
