i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
