Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
