i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
