apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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