we have officially lost it.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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