Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
