I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
