i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
