Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
