I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
