i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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