Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
ttyl tear gas
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
