When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
