I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
