This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
