we have officially lost it.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
