there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
