No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I love you. Go after that dick
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
