So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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