He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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