what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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