then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
