If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
