Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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