How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
