i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
