two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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