would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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