I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
