I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
