Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
