Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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