Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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